New Segment Titled "Here's How Big Of A Piece of Shit I Am."

This may not be my best work, but I'm proud of it anyway.



This, on the other hand, may have been my finest hour. Or finest five minutes. Whatever.



If you like what you see here and you're in the area come out to Eastside Tavern in Columbia, MO. It's technically an open mic night, but with the regular comics we have it's more like a fucking SHOW. So get your ass out there. Free show. Cheap drinks. Solid comics.

And if you're not in the area go check out Bill Donald's Youtube page and see some of the other comics I work with.

Or don't. See if I care.

Link Love

Here are two reasons why I keep Warrenellis.com as my home page.

One; Anyone else here a Garth Ennis fan? If so, prepare to orgasm. If you're not a fan of Garth Ennis you need to get to work on that. Ennis is the genius comic book writer known for Preacher, The Boys, Crossed, Hitman, and defining runs on Hellblazer and The Punisher. I'll always love him as the guy who wrote that one book where the cannibal made a pair of underwear out of some guys face and wore them so that his balls hung out the mouth. Hmm...yeah, that was in Crossed.

Now Garth brings us this.

Note the words "written and directed by Garth Ennis"? Garth made a movie! A ZOMBIE MOVIE! If that's not enough awesome to leave you giggling with anticipation for hours then you are wrong, my friend.

STITCHED is set to premiere at the San Diego Comic Con July 21, but you can already order a your copy of the DVD. Full details here.

Moving on. Also found on Warren's site is this little bit of casual shenanigans. I'm not going into detail on this other than to say that it is an actual letter dated December, 1998 written by one of every one's heroes and it contains the line, "You are a computer salesman - I am fucking JAMES BOND." Just go read it.

Also, I've been listening to Michelle Bachmann's inane cerebral palsy-esq face noise ever since some suit somewhere decided that there wasn't enough Palin in the world. Like most right thinking people, I tend to laugh uncontrollably and throw feces at her whenever she opens her mouth. This is awkward for me since I usually see her on TV, but that's another story. I was only just able to keep my steaming monkey turds to myself when I saw this bit on Jimmy Kimmel Live. I give you the Michelle Bachmann Story of American History complete with more Jabba the Hutt than they gave you in high school.

And finally, just because you need to see it again, technically this is a Bruno Mars video, but in my heart it's a Leonard Nimoy video because he is most definitely the coolest fucking thing about this song.

Things I Can See From Here

It happens every damn time. I come to the coffee shop to get some work done and I end up playing on the Internet. It's my crack. These are the highlights of my browsing session.

First off, yes I realize that this highlight reel to the Tamil film ROBOT, found at Warren Ellis's place, is not in English or even subtitled. Shut up. You don't need it to be. Just watch. If you don't hear your inner five-year-old giggling maniacally half way through, then...I don't know. You're a lost cause. Kill yourself.








Oh, and speaking of five-year-olds here's one with his own webcomic. AXE COP is the story of AXE COP, the COP with a motherfucking AXE, motherfucker! AXE COP began when 5 year old Malachai Nicholle invited his brother, 29 year old comic artist Ethan Nicolle, to play Axe Cop over a Christmas visit. The game turned into a webcomic that young Malachai still scripts while big brother Ethan draws. AXE COP is a subtle reminder that within the mind of every 5-year-old is a serial killer, a cocaine snorting chimpanzee and Quentin Tarantino. It's also undiluted awesomeness on the page. Watch AXE COP defeat a giant robot by hitting it in the head with a baby! See AXE COP fight aliens while riding a flying Tyrannosaurus Rex with Gatling gun arms. Just go read AXE COP. And buy all their crap.

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I'm kinda weird in the respect that I like movies about a bunch of normal guys walking through hellish landscapes that try to kill them every ten steps or so. That said, I'm seein' this. Who's with me?

Finally, "How to Make a Trillion Dollars" is a short article on raptitude.com. It seemed to brighten my day a bit which isn't an easy trick. I can't wait to read more by this writer. He may not be a revolutionary philosopher but definitely a philosopher for the revolution.

"The Man does what he does because he doesn’t know any better — he’s an addict himself, with poor life skills."